


Dread In My Heart

by infinityandluck



Series: Team Human Week 2019 [7]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Liar, argument, crteamhumanweek2019, spoilers for ep 88
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 12:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityandluck/pseuds/infinityandluck
Summary: The letter weighed in his pocket like a stone. Like a pit in his stomach.It was heavy and painful, and it made him feel sick. And he needed to get this over with. He needed to be able to choose how he would see her again because he didn’t know if he could take another reunion like the ones he had with Trent or Eodwulf.This was something he had to do. It was something he had to do alone. He couldn’t risk, he wouldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of this...thing he needed to do.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast
Series: Team Human Week 2019 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566472
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53
Collections: Team Human Week 2019





	Dread In My Heart

The letter weighed in his pocket like a stone. Like a pit in his stomach. 

It was heavy and painful, and it made him feel sick. And he needed to get this over with. He needed to be able to choose how he would see her again because he didn’t know if he could take another reunion like the ones he had with Trent or Eodwulf.

This was something he had to do. It was something he had to do alone. He couldn’t risk, he wouldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of this...thing he needed to do.

Everyone had left to go off and do their own things, all of them worried, but pleased that he had decided to instead just stay at the inn. Nott had offered to stay with him or see if he wanted to go with her. He declined both offers.

And then he left. Waiting for everyone to leave before exited the safety of the inn and drifted through the familiar streets like he was a ghost. And, in a way, he was. 

Each step, each turn was muscle memory and it felt like he was wandering in a dream of some sort. It was all like he remembered, but it was hazy and things had changed or had been lost to the march of time. 

Caleb made his way to the address listed in the letter. Astrid’s address. He took a deep breath and began closing the distance between himself and the entrance.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” There was a split second of terror that overcame him before he recognized the voice as distinctly Beauregard’s. 

In his preparing for all the possible outcomes of his meeting with Astrid, he did not plan to be stopped at the gate by one of his friends, “it is, uh, it is nothing.”

“This,” she gestured all around them, but especially at Caleb himself, “is nothing? Caleb, I get that you are self-loathing and masochistic and shit, but you’re going to get yourself killed. What the fuck are you thinking, going here?”

This was really not the place to be getting into an argument, “let’s go,” he turned back and began leading the way to the inn, not speaking while Beau fumed behind him.

They made their way back to Caleb’s room where Beau slammed the door shut behind him, “What the fuck, Caleb?” He sat on the bed while she just stood in front of him, lecturing him like a child, “this is not okay. You are not okay. You can’t just go off and, what? Go see Astrid? By yourself? No. Gods, if you want to, fine then, but have someone go with you? Ask someone. You can’t just go and get yourself killed.”

“I am not a child, Beauregard, I can do things by myself,” being here was making everything worse, it was grating on him and he was about to snap and lash out at someone.

“Obviously you can’t. Not to go see some powerful assassin wizard you used to date sixteen years ago,” she pulled over a chair and sat down, looking him in the eyes, “Caleb, you can’t do this. You can’t lie to us then go do bullshit like this. Okay?” And looking her in the eyes, he could see the desperation, and the anger, and the stress, and the exhaustion.

“Ja, okay,” what was he supposed to say? 

“Okay,” she nodded finally then stood up, “I was going to check-in at the Cobalt Soul if you want to come with and look in the archives?”

He nodded his head, “ja, sure,” and quieter, “danke, Beauregard, I am sorry.”

“Just...don't pull that kind of shit again, or ask next time. We’re here for you, Caleb, whether you want us to be or not.”


End file.
